1. "Grool. I meant to say "cool" and then I started to say "great"." -Cady
2. "In the regular world, Halloween is when children dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total s l * t t and no other girls can say anything about it." -Cady
3. "[holding a section of Cady's hair to his head] See, this is the color I want." -Damian
4. "That is so fetch!" -Gretchen
5. "Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What's so great about Caesar? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. OK, Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become OK for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that's not what Rome is about! We should totally just stab Caesar!" -Gretchen
6. "This is Damian. He's almost too gay to function." -Janis
7. 'On Wednesday's we wear pink" -Karen
9. "OK, so we're all here because of this book, right? Well, I don't know who wrote this book, but you all have got to stop calling each other s l * t s and w h * * e s. It just makes it OK for guys to call you s l * t s and w h * * e s." -Ms. Norbury
10. "Get in, loser. We're going shopping." -Regina
11. "Why do you wear your hair like that? You hair looks so sexy pushed back. Cady, will you please tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back?" -Regina
12. ""Made out with a hot dog"? Oh, my God, that was one time!" -Amber D'Alessio
13. "Alyssa, I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed b * * c h. It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed." -Michigan girl
14. "Laura, I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you." -Jessica Lopez
Mr. Duvall: "Well, I just wanted to let everyone know that we have a new student joining us. She just moved here all the way from Africa."
Ms. Norbury: [to black Michigan girl] "Welcome!"
Michigan girl: [offended] "I'm from Michigan."
Ms. Norbury: "Great!"
Student: Nice wig, Janis. What's it made of?
Janis: Your mom's chest hair!
Janis: Why didn't they just keep home-schooling you?
Cady: They wanted me to get socialized.
Damian: Oh, you'll get socialized, all right. A little slice like you.
Cady: What are you talking about?
Janis: You're a regulation hottie.
Damian: Own it.
Janis: That one there, that's Karen Smith. She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. Damian sat next to her in English last year.
Damian: She asked me how to spell "orange".
Janis: And that little one? That's Gretchen Wieners.
Damian: She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Strudel.
Janis: Gretchen Wieners knows everybody's business. She knows everything about everyone.
Damian: That's why her hair is so big. It's full of secrets.
20. " And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don't be fooled, because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing, s * t-faced h *-bag. But in reality, she is so much more than that." -Janis
Damian: [about Regina] She always looks fierce. She always wins Spring Fling Queen.
Janis: Who cares?
Damian: I care. Every year, the seniors throw this dance for the underclassmen called The Spring Fling. And whomsoever is elected Spring Fling King and Queen automatically becomes head of the Student Activities Committee. And since I am an active member of the Student Activities Committee, I would say, yeah, I care.
Janis: Wow, Damian, you've truly out-gayed yourself.
Gretchen: It's so fetch!
Regina: [turns to Gretchen] What is "fetch"?
Gretchen: Oh, it's, like, slang, from... England.
"Karen: So if you're from Africa... why are you white?
Gretchen: Oh, my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white."
Cady: [about The Plastics] What do we even talk about?
Janis: Hair products.
Damian: Ashton Kutcher.
Cady: Is that a band?
Janis: Would you just do it? Please?
Cady: OK, fine. Do you have anything pink?
Regina: Hello. May I please speak to Taylor Wedell?
Taylor's Mom: She's not home yet. Who's calling?
Regina: Oh, this is Susan from Planned Parenthood. I have her test results. If you could have her give me a call as soon as she can. It's urgent. Thank you. [Taylor's mom faints and Regina hangs up] She's not going out with anyone.
Gretchen: OK, that was so fetch!
Mrs. George: [to Cady] Just want you to know, if you need anything, don't be shy, OK? There are no rules in this house. I'm not like a regular mom. I'm a cool mom. Right, Regina?
Regina: [smiling] Please stop talking.
Karen: God, my hips are huge!
Gretchen: Oh, please. I hate my calves.
Regina: At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders.
Cady: [voice-over] I used to think there was just fat and skinny. Apparently, there's a lot of things that can be wrong on your body.
Gretchen: My hairline is so weird.
Regina: My pores are huge.
Karen: My nail beds suck.
[The Plastics all look at Cady]
Cady: I have really bad breath in the morning.
Cady: And they have this Burn Book where they write mean things about all the girls in our grade.
Janis: What does it say about me?
Cady: [lying] You're not in it.
Janis: Those b * * c h e s s.
Karen: So you have your cousins and then you have your first cousins, then you have your second cousins...
Gretchen: No, honey, nuh-uh.
Karen: That's not right, is it?
Gretchen: That is so not right.
Regina: Oh, my God! I love your skirt. Where did you get it?
Lea Edwards: It was my mom's in the '80s.
Regina: Vintage. So adorable.
Lea Edwards: Thanks. [walks away]
Regina: [turns to Cady] That is the ugliest skirt I've ever seen.
Damian: [delivering candy canes in a Santa Claus costume] Taylor Zimmerman? Two for you. Glenn Coco? Four for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco! And, uh... "Caddy" Heron. Do we have a "Caddy" Heron here?
Cady: It's Cady.
Damian: Oh, Cady, here you go. One for you. [Gretchen is about to speak] And none for Gretchen Wieners, bye. [leaves]
Gretchen: That is so fetch!
Regina: Gretchen, stop trying to make "fetch" happen! It's not going to happen!
Karen: You wanna do something fun? You wanna go to Taco Bell?
Regina: I can't go to Taco Bell, I'm on an all-carb diet! God, Karen, you are so stupid! [atomps off]
Gretchen: Regina, wait! Talk to me! [goes after Regina]
Regina: Nobody understands me.
Gretchen: I understand you.
Cady: You're not stupid, Karen.
Karen: No. I am, actually. I'm failing almost everything.
Cady: Well, there must be something you're good at.
Karen: I can put my whole fist in my mouth. Wanna see?
Cady: No. That's OK. Anything else?
Karen: I'm kind of psychic. I have a fifth sense.
Cady: What do you mean?
Karen: It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's gonna rain.
Cady: Really? That's amazing.
Karen: Well, they can tell when it's raining.
Karen: [on the phone, thinks she flashed over to Regina] Oh, my God, she's so annoying.
Gretchen: Who is?
Karen: Who's this?
Karen: Right. Hold on. [flashes over to Regina] Oh, my God, she's so annoying.
Regina: I know. Just get rid of her.
Karen: [on the phone] I can't go out. [fakes cough] I'm sick.
Regina: Boo, you w * * r e. [hangs up on Karen]
Gretchen: Regina, you're wearing sweatpants. It's Monday.
Karen: So that's against the rules and you can't sit with us.
Regina: Whatever. Those rules aren't real.
Karen: They were real that day I wore a vest!
Regina: Because that vest was disgusting!
Gretchen: You can't sit with us!
Regina: [pause] These sweatpants are all that fits me right now.
[None of the other girls says a word]
Regina: Fine. You can walk home, b * * c h e s s .
Janis: Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters and listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up each other's awesomeness?
Cady: You know what? You're the one who made me like this so you could use me for your eighth-grade revenge!
Janis: God! See, at least me and Regina George know we're mean! You try to act like you're so innocent! Like, "Oh, I used to live in Africa with all the little birdies and the little monkeys!"
Cady: You know what? It's not my fault you're, like, in love with me or something!
Damian [abruptly stops the car]: Oh, no, she did not!
Janis: See? That is the thing with you Plastics. You think that everybody is in love with you, when actually, everybody hates you! Like Aaron Samuels, for example! He broke up with Regina and guess what? He still doesn't want you! So why are you still messing with Regina, Cady? I'll tell you why. Because you are a mean girl! You're a b * * c hh ! Here. [throws a rolled-up paper at Cady] You can have this. It won a prize.
Damian: [drives away with Janis, yelling out the window] And I want my pink shirt back! I want my pink shirt back!
42. Regina: [writes out loud to herself] This girl is the nastiest s k * * kk b * *c hh I've ever met. Do not trust her. She is a f * * l y y s l * t t ! [pastes a cut picture underneath the writing and lifts up the book with an evil smile on her face as the camera reveals the picture of herself with her own name underneath]
Mr. Duvall: [reading from the Burn Book] What's that say? "Kaitlyn Caussin is a..."
Regina: Fat w * * r e.
[Mr. Duvall looks up at Regina and she starts fake crying again]
[In Mr. Duvall's office, after being questioned about the Burn Book]
Gretchen: It's not ours, it's Regina's. Yeah, she's trying to make it look like we wrote it, but really, she wrote it.
Mr. Duvall: Miss Wieners, why would Regina refer to herself as a "f * * l yy s l * tt "?
Mr. Duvall: Miss Smith, this is no time to be laughing.
Jason: [reading a page from the Burn Book] "Trang Pak made out with Coach Carr"? And so did Sun Jin Dinh!
Trang Pak: [in Vietnamese] You little s l * tt !
Sun Jin Dinh: [in Vietnamese] You're the s l * tt !
Dawn Schweitzer: [reading a page from the Burn Book] "Dawn Schweitzer has a huge a * * "? Who would write that?
Other jock girl: Who wouldn't write that?
[Dawn Schweitzer attacks the other jock girl]
Damian: [reading about himself] "Too gay to function"?!
Janis: Hey! That's only OK when I say it!
Mr Duval: Now, what the young ladies in this grade need is an attitude makeover. And you're gonna get it right now. I don't care how long it takes, I will keep you here all night.
Joan, the secretary: We can't keep them past four.
Mr. Duvall: I will keep you here until four.
49. Crying girl: [reading from paper] I just wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles, and we'd all eat it and be happy. [about to cry]
Damian: [shouting from back] She doesn't even go here!
Ms. Norbury: Do you even go to this school?
Crying girl: No. I just have a lot of feelings.
Ms. Norbury: OK, go home.
Cady: [after humiliating Regina] Regina, wait! I didn't mean for that to happen!
Regina: To find out that everyone hates me? I don't care!
Cady: Regina, please! Regina, stop!
Regina: [turns to Cady and walks toward her] No! Do you know what everyone says about you? They say that you're a home-schooled jungle freak, who's a less hot version of me! Yeah! So don't try to act so innocent! You can take that fake apology and shove it right up your hairy— [gets hit by a bus]
Betsy Heron: This is the fertility vase of the Ndebele tribe. Does that mean anything to you?
Betsy Heron: Who are you?!
Cady: So are we still in a fight?
Janis: Are you still an a * * * o l ee?
Cady: I don't think so.
53. "Gretchen Wieners had cracked." -cady
54. "I know it may look like I'd become a b * * c hh, but that's only because I was acting like a b * * c hh ." -Cady
55. "Miss Caroline Krafft seriously needed to pluck her eyebrows. Her outfit looked like it was picked out by a blind Sunday school teacher. And she had some 99-cent lip gloss on her snaggletooth. And that's when I realized, making fun of Caroline Krafft wouldn't stop her from beating me in this contest. Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you." -Cady
56. "Irregardless. Ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to friends. I mean, that's just, like, the rules of feminism." -Gretchen
57. " Regina says everyone hates you because you're such a s l * t" -Gretchen
58. "I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me. But I can't help it that I'm popular." -Gretchen